My 100th entry - Spain's the Euro2008 Champion

Congratulations Spain!

Quick entry before bed

4:00 am, 29th June 2008


I am taking this opportunity, at this unearthly hour of 4.00 AM (I just got back from city centre, hehe) - I want to wish my best friend (also my tennis partner), Faris a 'Happy Birthday' (I think it is your 27th, no?). So enjoy the day - I bet you'd be spending it on writing up your thesis and all the best for that. It will soon be over, hang in there.

Best, Zul

My interest in sports

Sports, besides singing (yes I do sing!), is one of my utmost hobbies. Hence, my rantings about tennis and footie as of late. My love for Sports stemmed from my days at The Leys School, for everyone was allowed to take sports of your interest. And the annual allowance by my sponsor of about £350 a year did tremendously help too!

So I took up squash, tennis and volleyball - sports I never got to do when I was in my secondary school. I wish I'd started on sports much earlier in life, but I started at the age of 17 - not too bad. I could still remember, my tennis racket was Prince, which is still in my possession now. I got it for £60 (on sale) and I used it first, playing on a graveled court in Hyde Park in the middle of spring - and I tripped, dropped the racket on the floor and I fell my back first onto the racket/ground and my head hit the hard court! Oh my, that was my first tennis experience. I guess I am natural lover for tennis - I grew to love it even more after that.

+ Serbian Ivanovic is the darling on the court, of course. But this No 1 seed bowed out following string of cursed top seeded players to leave the lawn in Wimbledon. The tournament is just getting more interesting now.

Speaking of sports - I could well reflect the way sports are instilled in schools in Malaysia. At least I felt it when I wanted to be involved in sports more seriously. There is no clear programs for people/students to follow the sports of their likings. I wanted to play volleyball - which I believed I had the natural talent for. Instead of nurturing my talent the coach tended to expect so much out of me, and expected me to be good and make it through selection. I failed to make the cut. It disheartened me for a bit. I wanted to stay active. I wanted to play sports. I think it it is still major issue in Malaysia that, if you were the sort of student who secure good grades - chances are you are in the line of becoming debater, science quiz team etc. The same goes to the sports - chances are you'd be in rugby team, basketball etc. Hence, the inability to produce balanced individuals as they step out of school.

+ Too bad, Italian Simone Bolelli (above) lost to Hewitt, but sure he's impressed me with his controlled back-hands today! Come back next year, and show us what you are made of, Bolelli.

I was amazed myself when I was given numerous opportunities during my time in University/A Level school. I did get to nurture sporty talents (and of course nurse the injuries that came with it), and the icing-to-the-cake was - to be able to represent the Univ and school in the sports I like. I played for the National Varsity League for Volleyball. How cool is that? I did not aim for it. I did not even pay for the membership to the volleyball society - instead I turned up with deep interest and one night the captain came close to me "Would you come to the varsity selection this Sunday?" The rest was history!

In short, I do feel something is not right in the education system of Malaysia - in the pursuit of building the characteristic of the student. There is so much stereotyping going on. I think years spent in school should be regarded as formative years - where you form young individuals into becoming someone who is comfortable with their inner-self, able to nurture their aspiration and having the comfort to pursue their interests in academic as well as non-academic activities.

Season of Sports

Aku tengah tengok Russia lawan Spain ni, dalam Euro2008 masa aku tulis entry ni - semis. Aku support Spain, tapi aku ni sapa yang main lemau tu tetap kena dengan aku. Kalau ada sesapa score sah-sah satu building ni akan dengar aku jerit. Macam semalam, konfidensi aje aku kata aku sokong Germany, sbb Turkey selalu berkampung kat German goal area, aku memang la suka. Aku lelebih pulak sokong Turkey sampai my friend tanya "Have you made up your mind?" Haha. Akhirnya Turkey berputih mata.

+ Ms Sharapova with her new 'tux' outfit for Wimbledon 2008

Tadi aku tengok Tennis. Aku suka ria sebab ramai yang seeded players dah balik - seeded yang aku tak suka. Contohnya, Maria Sharapova. Memang tak larat aku tengok dia main - jerit mengalahkan orang nak bersalin. Aku tak larat dengar. Kalau aku yang lawan dia (eh berangan ke aku?) Aku akan komplen kat umpire. Suruh kasi rule, kalau noise above X decible, kena tindakan keluar padang atau kena gagged - gag order katanya. :) So dia dengan fesyen terbaru vest tajaan dan membawa tas tangan, elok sangat la tu - balik je la. Dia kalah dengan Alla Kudryavtseva, dari Russia gak.

+ Roddick in action. Source of image: All-about-tennis.Com

+ Semoga kau berjaya Tipsarevic!

Lepas Nikolay Davydenko (4) dan Novak Djokovic (3) antara pemegang seed teratas yang dah booked plane home, hari ni menyaksikan Andy Roddick (6) pulak made his way to the airport. Aku bukan tak suka Roddick, tapi dia kalau main harapkan serve aje kuat nak mati - where is the tennis? Sesekali tu nak la tengok rally yang panjang lagi menarik. But aku ni pun tend to support underdog. So Roddick lost to Janko Tipsarevic from Serbia. Aku dah sokong Tipsarevic ni dari Australian Open lagi. So, selamat berjuang ye Tipsarevic, aku suka dia main. Cool aje, dan kalau dia buat silap suka tarik baju dan sorokkan muka dlm baju. Haha. Yang Roddick pulak, kepada sesapa yang follow tu - Roddick suka buat aksi obscene atas court. Sama la cam Nadal (suka betulkan underwear), tapi Roddick lebih obscene kot. Haha.

Lupa aku nak cerita. Ejen rumah tunjukkan rumah lagi. Block satu lagi. Aku pergi aje la. Sebab dia kata "Come over and see the house. If you do not like the house we can go for coffee". Aku bingung, apa kaitan rumah dan nak minum kopi. Aku pergi aje jumpa si Shane.

+ Ini dia rumah tu, sempat dia hantar email kat aku. Aku tak minat nak tengok, wpun nampak cantik.

Apparently rumah ni akan dikosongkan in 2 weeks. It is cheaper by Eur100 (it does not make much of a difference anyways). I said to him, "Don't bother Shane. I had a bad day. Let's get that coffee". Menyesal dia ajak aku kot. Haha. Sapa suruh.

Kenangan bersama Onyang

Aku tak tahu mengapa aku tiba-tiba teringat kepada arwah Onyang - moyang aku. Aku tak tau aku rindu kepada Onyang. Tiba-tiba segala kenangan aku dengan Onyang datang kepada aku. Kebelakangan ini, kepala aku berkecamuk dengan macam-macam perkara, terutama pasal kerja, pasal projek, pasal hidup, pasal masa depan dan lain-lain.


Nama Onyang - Hjh Samsiah. Semasa hayat Onyang, setau aku semasa aku rapat dengannya, aku belum bersekolah. Aku suka sangat pergi ke rumah Onyang. Rumah Onyang tak jauh dari rumah aku, dalam 15 minit berjalan kaki. Aku suka ke rumah Onyang - dia suka layan aku. Tatkala emak sibuk menyapu laman dengan penyapu lidinya, aku menyelinap ke rumah Onyang. Onyang akan buatkan kuih, kuih kutil (cucur), lepas minum dengan teh O, Onyang ajak duduk bawah pokok ciku tua tepi tebing, atas jalan utama. Rumah Onyang atas bukit sikit. Suara tua Onyang bergetar semasa bercerita cerita-cerita lama. Salah satu cerita dia bertajuk Panggang Lalat - aku tak pasti inti pati cerita tu, tapi ia bagaikan getah nangka melekat di benak aku. Onyang banyak cerita. Itu yang aku ingat.

Bagi aku, hidup aku masa itu terlalu ringkas. Aku sukakan kehidupan begitu - kehidupan awal di Kg Talang. Tahun-tahun awal sebelum aku mengorak langkah ke sekolah rendah. Berbalik kepada cerita Onyang, bagi aku Onyang lah orang yang mengikat tali kekeluargaan sebelah emak aku. Dengan adanya Onyang, kami bersatu. Tidak seperti sekarang - aku dan sepupu lebih kepada membawa arah masing-masing.

Semasa kepergian Onyang (rasanya usianya mencecah 100 tahun semasa dia pergi), emak ada menyatakan "Onyang kau, sebelum dia meninggal, dia ada tanya pasal kau Zul". Hati aku sebak. Dengan ganggang telefon masih erat di dalam tangan aku - aku terdiam dan aku tidak berapa pasti. Tiada perasaan terbit dalam diri aku. Aku keliru. Yang pasti aku terdiam sejenak. Selepas aku berhenti bercakap dengan emak aku, aku balik ke bilik aku di The Leys School tu, aku masih bertarung dengan perasaan aku. Aku rasa cukup bersalah. Tidak aku sangka - selama bertahun aku terpisah daripada Onyang, sedari aku darjah 2 dan berpindah ke Tg Ipoh, masuk asrama di Kuala Pilah dan pergi ke UK buat A'Levels; dan Onyang masih ingat tentang aku.

Aku tidak pernah berkongsi dengan sesiapa tentang rasa bersalah aku - sehingga sekarang. Aku tidak pernah beritahu kepada keluarga aku pun. Aku rasa cukup bersalah terhadap Onyang selepas itu. Sampai sekarang, aku masih tak dapat maafkan diri aku. Aku bukan menghukum diri. Cuma aku rindukan Onyang. Dan aku rindukan kehidupan lampau - yang jauh lebih ringkas.

Apa yang tak kena?

Entah apa tajuk aku nak buat pun aku tak tau. Tapi kena tulih BM la kot sebab mungkin dalam entry ni ada menyentuh pasal kerja. Ye lah, some of my kawan kerja dah mula masuk blog ni. Aku la yang gatal bagi alamat blog ni kepada beliau, sekarang aku pulak yang kena hati-hati dalam berblogan ini kan.

So, apa nak citer? Weekend aku tak de buat apa. Went out to city centre jumpa Paul and kawan dia, Liam. Kitorang pi konsert terbuka kat city centre. Nothing much, but we had a good time. Sunday pulak, main squash dengan Barry kat UCD - it was good game. Lepas tu pulak, main tennis dengan Alex from office. Malamnya pulak, Paul datang lagi sekali utk makan bersama.

+ Match yg kontroversi. Aku dikalahkan oleh Barry - 3:2. Kitorang plan nak main lagi. Jumpa pulak kawan2 Barry, Xavier & Mark, yg kerja kat Google. Best pulak networking2 macam ni... Silap haribulan pi hinggap kerja kat Google, hehe. OK gak...

Ini nak cerita pasal hari ni - entah aku tak tau, aku keruan. Aku tak tau pun maksud keruan tu apa. Tapi hari ni ada discussion dari pukul 10:00 AM sampai le ke 6:30 petang, pasal satu projek besar2an kat Dublin. Entah la, for whatever reason, aku malas nak buat projek ni. Tak tau apa sebenarnya. Sbb aku tengah rancang2 nak buat project kat Ghana atau Mozambique. Tapi aku dah kena jerat, terjerat la gamaknya utk buat project utk client kitorang, si M tu. Tak de masalah dengan customer. Tapi aku aje rasa berjauh hati, tak nak buat. Dalam meeting, aku antara nak dan tak nak aje bersuara. Most of the time, nampak aku tak minat. Tapi aku akan ingat pesan Oprah masa jadi Commencement Speaker kat Stanford, "Every time you face a deadend, do not ask WHY, but instead, ask - What is it here to teach me!" So aku nak apply la positive thought gitu kan. Terima kasih Kak Oprah!

+ Inilah rumah yang dimaksudkan

Oh sbb aku tension sangat, tadi petang aku agree pi jumpa agent rumah; Shane namanya. Dia contact aku sbb dia simpan number aku sejak dari thn lepas. Dia kata ada one-room apartment kat Sandycove, sebelah Dun Laoghaire ni, going for EuroX,XXX a month. Semua ada gamaknya, dan within range la jugak kot (rasa2nya...). Aku tak kisah sangat. Aku check internet sblm tu, gambar2 dia nampak cantik. Lepas tengok rumah tu, Shane (ejen FBI tuh), kalau aku nak cepat, sbb nanti org ambik. Aku tanpa beragak aku cakap - Nah kau, kau ambik Euro200 ni sbg tanda ekau takkan tunjuk kat orang lain. Sbb aku minat sangat. Dia kata dia boleh hold it for 4 wks aje. Tak kesah la. Kalau aku tak sempat nak buat decision, duit tu akan burn or was it dia akan bagi balik Euro50. Ntah la, aku tak kisah, aku pun malas nak pikir sangat.

+ Rumah sekarang - boleh ke masuk Architecture Digest tu? Berangan kan?

+ Rumah sekarang - aku boli lampu lagi, aku tak larat, byk lampu, haha

So kesimpulannya, aku tengah berkecamuk sekarang. Tapi pasal rumah tu, bukan sbb pikiran aku berkecamuk, tapi memang si Shane ni baik hati dan honest dalam berurus niaga dan rumah tu pulak, cantik gak, menghadap laut. Tengok la cam mana nanti, tengok mood aku cam mana esok lusa... after all aku ada 2 minggu utk decide.

Trip to Co. Cork, Ireland (Finally!)

I was off to West Cork with a friend over the long bank holiday weekend (31 May – 02 June). I should have shared this experience much earlier, but due to quite a few circumstances, the entry has been stored away for a bit.

Here is the original entry that I wrote earlier:

There has not been any updates on my blog as of late – so the decision to go to West Cork and Cork city can never be more apt than what it is intended it to be.

Yes, people say that Ireland is beautiful. I have no doubt about that at all, after all there are tonnes of beautiful places in Europe anyway. As for Eire, look at the place I live now, I mean the area of Dun Laoghaire is itself, gorgeous. I said to a friend in London one day, "Stephen, I am going for a walk by the sea!". How many people can really say that? It is so much of saying something of equivalent weight when you have your office close to the Andaman Beach or something – well I get carried away, Andaman is in another league.

We decided to rent a car. I went with a friend from office really – Lock See. Well, we took off early. It was fun drive. Nothing really major and the scenic views along the road slowed things down when were just gawking in awe when were surrounded with all these nice sceneries.

We stopped at Urlingford Town (it is a small town, then again all the towns are really small). That is the beauty of the trip – we stopped when we felt like it, chances are we were in some nice village or small towns with people downing their Guinness at midday. BTW, we were even 'crashing' a function at a pub celebrating newlywed couple - that reminded me so much of Oprah & Gayle's adventure across America. We drove on to go to Kinsale, a small town in south westerly Cork. Kinsale is bustling with things – in miniature way! All shops are small. All restaurants are indeed enough to welcome 15 guests at a time. What’s so apparent about this is the landscape of the harbour itself and the surroundings.

+ On the way to Charles Fort (by foot), in Kinsale

+ The harbour - really nice scenic view, I must say

We were in Kinsale for the whole day, and we were a bit frustrated of not being able to take the boat ride to see the whales and dolphins, whatever other sea-creatures that we could bundle in the 50-Euro charge! Anyway, that was just the thought we had. The boat didn’t turn up at 6:00pm, and we were headed to our Hotel in City of Cork itself. The night was spent with John Paul (JP) and Dave. JP is our friend from office and he’s from Cork. So, what could be more appropriate right? A Cork man, for a Cork experience. Dave was so chatty - he convinced me that Guinness is not available in Cork, and Corkmen drink Murphy's instead. Don't ask me, but hey, knowledge is useful!

+ Beautiful Mizen Head (1)

The next day, we continued our exploration – heading towards Mizen Head. Apparently, it is the most south-westerly point of Ireland. But generally, this part of Ireland is really breathtakingly beautiful. We spent time there, and went to the old light house. I was afraid of height, but I managed to brace myself up to get to the end. It was well worth it – it is really nice.

+ Beautiful Mizen Head (2)

We left Mizen Head to head to Bantry. We read that Bantry is another nice place. We planned to over-night there. It is really a small town. It reminded me of a Universal Studio facade really. It looked like a man-made town, with not-so-real people. They talk so softly and when we went to the restaurant - the people talked too softly. Seriously! Again, we met JP. We had a good chat. And the next morning, we left the hotel and headed to Bantry House – a huge mansion, overlooking the nice seafront and used to belong to an Earl. We bumped into JP with his mom for a morning walk. That was a really nice mansion with acres of beautiful garden. The view, let’s not get started on that. It is indeed beautiful.

+ Bantry House in Bantry, Co. Cork - superhuge mansion with superhumongous acres of gardens, which used to belong to an Earl

Then we cut the trip and decided to go back to Dun Laoghaire. That was a total 3 days of good trip to West Cork, or west of Ireland. It was nice indeed. What about the next trip? Well, perhaps to Kerry – another beautiful place. Let’s see, when do I get the time to do that?

Kak Ani - you will be missed

Amidst the story about my father was hospitalised 2 weeks ago, there's this cousin of mine who had been hospitalised for a long time now. Her name is Ani, or Kak Ani. She is this vibrant woman in her late 30s. I would not call her as a cousin that I am close to, but I could admit that we grew up together in Kampong Talang where we used to go to the parit to catch some tadpoles, we used to go to the same school, and we went to the same atok to mengaji Quran. Yes, our paths have taken us afar not to be that close now. I was not close to my cousins right after we moved to Tanjung Ipoh, the adjacent town.

She was married once and blessed with a boy and then she remarried after the first husband died in accident. Once again, she's blessed with another child who is now close to 2 years. She's rather a nice looking girl - she once sang for the band in Kampong Talang. At that time, she was the talk of town (or rather, the talk of the kampong) for the reason I was sure enough that had to be the fact that a girl should not mix with boys too much, what more to be in a band.

She was hospitalised since last year - in east coast, since they relocated there (her husband hailed from Kelantan). Doctor was not sure what was wrong with her. Only a few days ago I learned that she was suffering from liver cancer and it was already in the final stage. I am sorry Kak Ani. As I said earlier, I was so overwhelmed with my dad. After knowing my dad was doing well, I got to ask my sister about Kak Ani. She said - Kak Ani was already critical and my mom was asked to go to Kuantan Hospital to visit, for doctor was ready to let my aunt to bring her home. That was real hard news.


And at 1:00 PM yesterday (5th May 2008), I received a text - Kak Ani sudah tiada - Kak Ani left us all. Kak Ani left behind her husband and 2 kids. She indeed has left me with the memories of growing up in Kampung Talang - one of the best moments in my life growing up as a kampong boy. To Kak Ani, I would really miss you. I am sorry that we ONLY got to meet during Raya, and there you were; greeting me with smile and ask me "Zul, kerja OK ke? Lama cuti...!" We still lightly joked. I knew, the jokes were a bit orchestrated, but I must admit I was still closer to Kak Ani and her siblings compared to other cousins on my mother's side.

Al Fatihah to Kak Ani :(

Trip to Co. Cork, Ireland

+ From Dublin to Cork City to Mizen Head and Bantry, and headed back to Dublin

This is a teaser to my next entry - detailing what I was up to during long Bank Holiday weekend (31 May, 01 & 02 June 08) that just passed. Anyway, I have to head to clinic now, for my annual medical check up. I will update this with pics soon.

+ Another sneak preview - a picture taken at Mizen Head, the most west-southerly part of Ireland

I miss you, abah...

+ My abah

Today I miss my father so much. He was hospitalised for 2 days last 2 weeks. It hit me hard this time around. I never knew what homesickness is all about but what I am experiencing now is beyond the feeling of homesick. All the moments with my dad came rushing into my head. At this moment I want to be beside him – just to have the feeling that I am face to face with him.

To be honest – I don’t care about father’s day so much as for me, everyday is a father’s day to me. It is all special with my thoughts towards my father. Mind you, I was never close to my father until the year I came back from UK. That was the turning point. The adulthood demanded me to keep the gap close and try to cherish the moments. And that’s exactly what I did until a point where I could ask him, "Bah, jom minum teh kek Pilah!", upon which he would iron his short-sleeved shirt and, the next thing I knew, I was with him in his favourite mamak stall in Kuala Pilah…

This is the bond I have with him now, which I am so grateful for. I can still feel the strong hug he gave me at Heathrow when I flew them in for my graduation in 2006. He left my mother behind and he rushed to hug me. I thought it was a uncomfortable experience for him to fly that long to London – but he slowly whispered to my ears that he’d never imagine to set foot in UK. That was nice.

I hardly talk to him when I call. It is always my mother. Occasionally I speak to him. It is always short, assuring me that all is well. It is always like that. But it is all fulfilled and we know that there is this unspoken bond that we have.

To abah – you will get well real soon, I know and I can’t wait to see you again this September, and we can head for our usual roti canai and teh tarik in Pilah. And not to forget, that I will drive you to Pilah to get your favourite Kuey Tiow at Pasar Ramadhan...