Dugaan.........

I am simply amazed at how obstacles can make one stronger! That really applies to me now. Work is so challenging. I have been presented with many new faces, and they all come in some bizarrely similar package - they are annoying, and they are morons with attitude.

+ Gambar hiasan

Sometimes I simply don't understand people. In fact most of the times. I do not understand one behaves the way one behaves - esp. when it comes to negative trait of being arrogance. To me, arrogance is just an act of someone who has unbearably a lot of flaws and weaknesses to cover. That is why I love the Islamic and Malay teaching. Ad-Din teaches us to be moderate in our doings, and never to feel superior, and not to be arrogant no matter what! And, there is also Malay saying that goes "Ikut rasmi padi, makin berisi makin tunduk". I simply love that.

How is that paragraph related to what I face today, you may say? Well it is really... It is about people. So far, in timeframe of roughly a month - three people have shone their true colours. One is supposed to be a person that I call a colleague. Two are from the same co, but from the local office. Three of them, collectively have driven me insane. Anyway, thank God, there are friends around me who I can simply share with, although most of the time I don't make sense myself. They understand or at least listens to the stuff I have got to share. Thanks Faris & Luke!

+ Did I just see you in the meeting room just now? You are so PINK, go and get some tan in Majorca, will ya? And, get a toothbrush too...

I do not know, how far I can stand this. So far, I have gone beyond my limit. I hate to be rude. I hate to be harsh. I can be a pain really. I can simply put people down with words. I can be the nastiest person if I want to. Then again, anyone can. Some people will just go ahead and do it, certain quarters simply think 34,872,900 times before doing so - I am the latter! So I will not do that, for I know myself best - I will regret it later. So I will not do it at all.

So I resort to working smart, without playing (or even acknowledging) the politics (read: Some pathetic losers who amplify their stupidity by TRYING hard to appear to be smart!). Thank God I have understanding boss who's always ready to listen to my grunts - I have had numerous times of meetings with him where I one day told him "I am not upskilling myself here, except from the perspective of managing politics, which I don't see myself of being an expert of!" So there you go. Most of the time, my superior will get it from me. He would say something back to me "I understand Zul". Ah, that is enough.

I guess, I'd better dash off now. Another late evening at work for me and my tummy is growling. It is close to 8.00PM now (I left the office at 10.30PM last night!), I need to head off to Tesco and buy whatever ready meals there are to buy! Again, I am so damn tired to think about food. This is not good. But you what I do to motivate myself now - wearing nice shirts, really nice shirts to go to office. Today I am wearing Thomas Pink's pinkish bluish checkered shirt. Fab!

Tarra...!

24 Jul 2009 - Congratulations to Faris

Many congratulations to Faris for passing his PhD viva/interview in Newcastle today. Hence, soon enough he has the title Dr., after the small corrections that he needs to do to conclude his PhD (I know, according to Faris it is not about the title...). As a friend who is close to him, I have seen it all - the hard work that he has put into his research and to be able to come this far to seal it all off (Well I did learn a lot from him. I remember struggling with starting my lit review and I did seek his help a lot as well. He is a hardcore researcher I guess). Well done to him. Thanks for giving me a small part to play in the whole process - pretty much support etc.

+ Aku pilih lagu ni sebab ada elemen2 sedih, w/pun tahun ni memang akan beraya di Malaysia

Berita seterusnya... alamak, hari ni aku juga dok meroyan sorang-sorang mainkan lagu raya. Tak tau kenapa. Haha. Aku tak sabar nak balik ke Malaysia untuk beraya kot. Memang tak sabar. I can imagine the manics during raya and being a part of it. I just can't wait. I am going to turn a new leaf this Ramadhan and, subsequently the whole plan after raya. So stay tuned (as if ada orang ikuti perkembangan aku kan. Ha ha. Kecuali ekau Luke, yang dok melangut kat blog aku nih tunggu update. Opssss, mati lah aku lepas nih...).

+ Mintak maaf cakap, tempo dan pitching lari, bukan aje ke laut... masuk ke laut, lepas tu diving ke dasar naik balik, ride the waves... hah cam tu hah... mati la kalau aku jadi judge pertandingan nyanyi2

Sebelum aku masuk tidor, ini ada video dedikasi yang aku nak dedikasikan kepada Luke di Brussels (don't get me wrong OK). Aku tau, ekau dah lama merindui penyanyi di atas. So tadi aku terjumpa video dia. So enjoy. Sebelum tu, jangan tanya kat aku mana nak beli topi tu. Sebab hari tu ekau nak beli topi sebab Brussels panas kan? :) (Note: Aku teringat masa kita kat rumah Aidah, masa Aidah pi kerja... aku nak masak lemak cili api kan... lepas tu ekau masuk dapur... terus tarik key 89 darjah... AwaN berarakkkkk... pengsan ayam tengah menggelegak dalam periuk aku tu kan... Yang aku pelik tu kan, asik la line AwaN berarakkkkkk... tu je yang ekau ingat kan??? Sah sah AwaN tu tak berarak... haha)

Au Revoir, Xavier Pepion

The weekend has come to its end. Nothing much! I am just glad the weekend finally arrived, and now it is about to be over. It started off with the leaving party of Xavier. It was a hectic Friday evening – started off with dinner with office mates at a Chinese restaurant in the city actually, and then I was headed to Xavier’s party.

I was glad to make it to the party. Then again, Xavier is one of my very close mates here in Dublin. I am not very good with good bye, but I wanted to be there. Alas, I wanted to take the chance to catch up with Arry, Maribelle, Martin, Djana, Barry and Alan. I got Xavier a leaving gift – a Nike Shirt “Just Do It”.

+ Me and Xavier in Warrenpoint, Northern Ireland

How do I begin to tell the tale about my friendship with Xavier. I do not have many friends Dublin. I want it to be that way really. I met Barry at a friend's birthday party and we became squash buddy. And then, I know Xavier through Barry, and ever since – me, Barry and Xavier become very close and it has been 2 years I guess. It is weird to say good bye really (it is so abrupt and sudden, so much so, I feel that he is still around now). Deep down, I am extremely happy for him that he is moving on to something definitely better. Amidst the bad news now, on job loss at least a close friend of mine is moving on to something great. He so deserves it. He will head to London & San Francisco for training before being based in Toronto, Canada.

+ Barry and Xavier - thank god we wore something bright. To give a bit of colour to what appeared to be dull Saturday

Last week, we took the chance to spend the wet weekend up North. Well, Barry promised us, since he got the new car, he was saying – it is good to be away, just the three of us. Away in the country. He had Donegal in mind. Well, that did not work out. We went to Carlingford and Warrenpoint instead. So the pics here, are pretty much from the trip really.

+ Barry and me - it looks like we are braving the winter, or at least autumn. When it is supposed to be summer

Now there is me and Barry to do the weekend Sports - it will remind me the days when we will take turn to play squash. Barry called me just now, before he went to bed. He was going to suggest for a catch up over the week – coffee I guess. It will be great, I am looking forward to that. Ah, there is used to be always three of us when we meet and now, he is gone. But Barry and I will do the usual catch up as always. Moving on? I guess that is how things are really. It is sad but it happens. Friends move on. People move on. That is the cycle. We will surely miss him.

We have planned to meet - reunion. I am not sure where and when yet. Original plan was going to be this October, in Malaysia (before he broke the news, he is leaving for Canada). They liked the idea. Now that is not going to happen and we will make sure that shall happen. I can understand, with the latest development and the fact that Barry did 2 major hols this year (India and Morocco), I guess next year would be a good idea. I will take the opportunity to get ‘a house ready’. Let’s see.

+ Three of us. Hair all over the place. The wind was strong and we need haircut badly

Other than that, nothing much. I want this entry to centre around Xavier – a close friend who has been there for me in many occasions. You will be missed and I am certain that we will see each other again before we know it.

So, au revoir Xavier!

All That Heaven Allows

I don't know what has got into me. I spent the morning watching 1955 "All That Heaven Allows". I watched this movie from the beginning till the end. Something really attracted me to this movie. The main casts - Jane Wyman and Rock Hudson.

It is brilliant. Nothing really is that complicated as far as the plot is concerned - a mature woman who falls in love with her young gardener. This woman happens to be an elitist, and highly regarded in the society. So you can pretty much guess what happens next. Then there is a struggle to get the gardener to be accepted by the town, the country club, even the worst - her kids.

She, in the end, gives up the relationship after weighing the consequences esp when her kids leave her behind due to embarrassment of their mother marrying some, not only her age, but less of a class compared to their own. Until the Christmas holiday when her children come home with news that they are moving on - the daughter has been proposed to, and the son is moving on to France.

Then she realises - everyone, including her kids is SIMPLY protecting their own interest and their own interest alone - the rest will become second in the priority list. Unlike her, when she turns her back on love, the man she loves and instead she chooses her family. She could have been selfish and goes ahead what happiness is to her.

At that very moment, she realises she must protect and seize her own happiness. The ending? I guess I will leave it to you to watch it. Haha. I don't want to spoil the fun. As if... Haha

There is one line that keeps repeating in my head - "He is the one that gives no importance to the unimportant"

The Act of Lying

The Kite Runner

"Half truth is a whole lie"
"But better to get hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie..."

Hossein went on to say to Ghaffor, "If there is significant bad luck that shall happen to you, blame no one but you. You invite the worst of lucks by lying. You will never be a whole person, if you keep lying, no matter how small it is. You are close to denying God's existence and hence, God's wrath is manifested in the bad luck that shall be cast upon you!"

Ghaffor stood still. His could not even bare the sight of his best friend Hossein.

Thanks Luke!

You've Got Mail

+ The letter. I used to get a lot of these letters from my father when I was in the UK, during my A Levels/Uni days. I still keep them till today.

I was so surprised to learn that the was a letter from my father in the pigeonhole today. I can't remember when's the last time I got a letter like this from him. Every time I get a letter from my father, it always makes my day. I love reading letters. We do not get this privilege anymore now that we are so accustomed to technologies - SMS, emails, mobile calls etc.

I was supposed to attend a meeting where I'd suppose to brief about my project plan. I turned up early to read the letter first and then the meeting. Aongus came into the room while I was reading the letter. Upon seeing me reading the letter, he said "Do you need a few more minutes?" I said "Yeah please, I will just read this letter from my dad". So I started the morning reading that letter from him. So the day started real good. That was just perfect, since I always start my Monday in agony!

There was just usual update from my father. Nothing much really. A lot of the lines were reflecting the special one-week we got to spend time together recently. He kept on referring to the time (how much he enjoyed himself), and wish that we'd be able to do it all over again. Insh'Allah.

Anyway, that is that really. Now I am back home - trying to sort some stuff out and reflect on the day and plan for tomorrow.

Fantastic Williams, Frustrated Murray

04 July 2009 - Serena was crowned as the Champion of Wimbledon - defeating the defending Champion sister, Venus. That was one awesome tennis really. It was just great tennis displayed by both of the Williams. Venus could not stop the ever-so-fierce Serena. With winning fast serves, to consistent top spin with convictions, Serena managed to close nail-biting rallies towards her favour.

+ The Greats!

Serena's route to final was not an easy one compared to Venus. As a whole, all these challenging sets of tennis from the 1st round have built her momentum towards the finals itself. It was apparent through the consistency and placements. Contrary to that, Venus faced rather different challenges which she overcame - which was expected from a defending Champion who returns to SW19 to break Steffi's record (to become the first woman to win three straight titles since Steffi Graf from 1991 to 1993!) That just did not happen today due to Serena's unbelievable tennis.

These two are simply amazing. They went on to play doubles finals. And again, they bagged it all. I think, seriously think, the winning is largely attributed to Serena's consistent tennis that resulted in their glorious finish of the day. It was amazing still - this decade of tennis belongs to these two great sisters. I am so looking forward to more great tennis by these two.

As for Murray, what can I say. Tough luck. Roddick stopped him from sailing through. I think he is still young, he has a few great years ahead of him. But let's make no mistake about this. Making it to the final 4 was a huge achievement. But Britain needs someone to bring back the trophy. And if Brits are serious about this, they need to take a step back really. Reason being - the mounting pressure by British public and media got the better of Murray finally. As much as he tried to hide it, the pressure was there. The British media was biased towards him, ignoring the signals that he needed room to breathe and concentrate on the game. Even they interviewed Murray on the court after winning the quarter finals - for goodness sake, he has not won the Championship just yet. Treat him like other players.

The same goes when they followed him on the training ground, interviewing him etc. It is OK to be excited, but pouring out the over-excitement too soon, was the silent killer! But what can Murray do, nothing but to step up his tennis (which has improved significantly) but to do amazingly well to keep his head in the sand as far as the pressure is concerned. He knows that, he will face the same in 2010. But, hopefully this time around the Brits employ some kind of lever to their oozing excitement!

+ Roddick: Go easy on me, Roger! Federer: In your wildest dreams! {Now I am beginning to sound like sour grape, hehe! I am indeed.}

Today - Roddick will take on Federer to seal the final day of the Championship. Of course, I will go for Federer. Point well taken that Roddick played great tennis in Semis, but the one thing I hate when a player plays - when he relies so much on serves. That is Roddick. There is no tennis there. I am still looking forward to really good tennis tomorrow (or today, as it is 1.40AM, Sunday now). I will be at Barry's. Three of us (incl Xavier) will watch it together. And, I will cook "masak lemak cili api" prior to the match. Hmmm can't wait.

In dire need for that window of opportunity

Yesterday, I read in a blog that a blogger’s father had just passed away in Malaysia. This blogger now resides in the UK. He is presently back in Malaysia for a few weeks and when he got the news of his father’s passing, he immediately hopped on the first flight he could get in order to be with his family and hopefully to see his dad for one last time. And to his dismay, he was not able to say that final good bye to his dad. My prayers are of course with him and his family - to be granted with much needed strength to go through the difficult days and to eventually survive it the best way possible.

As Oprah once said, "What is it here to teach me?" - It got me to think. Really. I have been thinking about that a lot, ever since last year. When I got the phone calls from my sister that my father was in hospital, I was all uneasy and did not really know what to do. Ever since then, I kept on praying that I would have that fair share of my lifetime to devote to my parents. And along the way, I pray that nothing would come in the way for me to achieve that chance of being with them.


I got to spend a week with my parents recently. That was the moment that I won’t be able to forget. I spent time with my dad. I am closer to my dad these days – I don’t even have explanation why (perhaps it is just the way it is, to compensate for the time that I was not so close to him before). Within that one week – we prayed together. We chatted. We talked about so many things. That was great.

Within that one week also, I realised how much he has aged. At that very moment, it immediately struck me that I need to spend more time with my parents and dear God, I pray to you – do grant me that window of opportunity for me to take care of my parents. And today, it is Friday - how much I miss going to the old Sri Mungkal Mosque back in kampong with my father for Friday prayers.


One day - I will be there! I will be with you both!

Williams Sisters will be in the Finals this Sat

+ It was brilliant tennis by Serena to make it thro' to the finals this Saturday. Whilst, it was a big shame for Safina (supposedly to be World No 1) to be tamed within 51 mins by Venus. I am locking myself in from tomorrow onwards (Murray taking on Roddick for a place in the finals), Saturday (Ladies Singles), and Sunday (Men's Finals, hopefully Federer & Murray!).

Faris told me that ATP tour will be held in KL this coming Sept 09. He and I have planned to get the tickets for one of the matches. I checked out the site today and they are not ready yet. Let's see. But still, the pinnacle is Wimbledon. Perhaps one day.

Oh I am glad to know that I will receive a new pair of tennis shoes for my upcoming birthday ;)