The Story of A and B

Recently, a friend who has not contacted me for weeks contacted me with updates. Well, it was all about his ex really. Yes about relationship that did not work out that haunts, at least haunts one of the persons involved. My friend (A) and his ex (B) were in the relationship for 4 years and had split recently. Being the stronger half, A has moved on pretty much. Even A handles it well. Contrary to that, his ex, B has not moved on as much as he'd expect!

Although it is not kinda nice to tell the story here, I am sure it can be a lesson for me and us (uh do I have readers out there? Haha...). Well that is not the point. This is my column and I can rant about anything, right? This is my sanctuary.

Apparently, A decided to go out with B out of sympathy. B just broke up with his lover at the time. He was on a rebound, pretty much. After a week of meetings and dinings between the two of them, B decided to duplicate his keys and offered A to come and stay (read: live) with him. A being self-sufficient, having stable job and a nicely decorated house, left everything behind to start this relationship. A had never been in a relationship before. B convinced A that there is NO such relationship when two people live separately (so A had to give in to the B's ideology). So, out of naivety, A moved in with B, literally leaving behind his house and the like.

A number of fights, verbal abuses by B and a few B-chasing-A-out-of-the-flat events later, A could not take it any longer. After a few discussions, they decided to end the relationship. In actuality, it was pretty much A's decision to end the relationship for some apparent reasons. BUT, one of the main reasons was the fact that B's insensitivity towards many things around him and B's tendency to belittle A's family and friends to the core.

However, according to B, "It is OK to make mistakes (read: huge mistakes), as long as there is a simple I-dont-really-mean-it action in seeking forgiveness right afterwards". Well, the thing that is missing from that is; The ability/assurance to not to repeat those mistakes in the future i.e. it is OK to repeat the mistakes. Hence, there were more and more verbal abuses regardless of them aimed at A or A's family or friends. Example of B's ability of belittling people is (in the case of A's family), B would say (with arrogance and no sign of guilt) - "I would not want to go back to your parents' as the house is hot and there is no way in the world I would understand your parents' dialect!". And at the same time, B would not allow A to go back home to see his parents alone since in B's mind A would always want to start an affair with another person!

To cut the story short, A kept to the decision to break up and B could not do anything but asking A to revisit his decision (many many times). This was apprent through letters written, songs dedications via B's website and endless writings of pledges of not leaving B behind. A was away when he made up his mind. It was a blessing in disguise - A had some room to think and put things into perspective. So much so, since there was a lot of rationales in deciding so, it was done after much thought after which, A has looked at the three and a half years spend with B. So it was like poison to be swallowed by B for B never imagined that A would have so much strength to walk out of the relationship that has been nothing but a torture to him!

Time really flew. It was time for A to return to the city where B lives. Since B was making so much fuss about closure, A offered a closure by meeting B. First contact that B made to A, it was more of a self-reassurance that the break-up really took place. To B's surprise, it was for real. Having said that, B put a condition that A needed to sleep over at his flat (that flat where A was thrown out a number of times). A refused instantaneously! B was furious. So there was no meet-up. But over a course of a few weeks, B insinuated closure by meeting up, time and again. A again offered (via SMS) to meet up. In one ocassion they nearly met, but A decided to cancel since B said "I do not mind to meet up today but I have no cash". That was the reason why A decided to cancel, no more free ride! Briefly, A has been giving a lot of cash i.e. financially supporting B throughout the relationship. So they did not meet up in the end. In short, A was there to offer the much-needed closure by B.

A called me up recently that the story has been twisted. He was calm when he told me all these. B has been telling some close friends that A has been sending SMS's to meet him and wanting to return to him. I was appalled to hear that. Knowing A, he is a patient person and more mature than B. There is no need to compare intelligence for it is relative between the two, although many would agree that B tends to be more close-minded despite the urban portrayal of behaviour and attitude.

Recently, I decided to meet A (since it was his turn to treat me for lunch anyway). Not to listen to his story of course, since we have talked about it over the phone. I wanted to have a good perspective of things and it is also my nature not to offer advice unless I am specifically asked for. I have to admit, I admire A. He was so content, patient, composed and high-spirited. He was busy talking about his days in the UK, the friends he had made along the way, his assistance towards a couple who has just opened a new shop-cum-gallery in Ampang, and his latest project; promoting an artiste friend to capture the niche market of corporations. He is busy, in short, or rather he has moved on. He has obviously moved on. I could not help myself from looking at him with absolute admiration towards his patience, determination, strength and drive. He appears to be someone who is stronger. Someone who looks forward to the days to come. The days of assurance that he has made the right decision to walk out of the relationship that has tormented him over the past years. Alas, he has learned so much. Indeed he has moved on and forgiven his ex (B) for whatever he has done in the past and at this present moment.

As for me, there is nothing much I can do. I can offer a great pair of listening ears to A and be the good friend I am (as always), no matter what.

The Song Will Take Care of Everything

Year 2007 is declared as the Visit Malaysia Year (VMY). A lot has been planned in anticipating the much-hoped-for growth of visitors to Malaysia and recently, it was launched in London to increase the awareness of where Malaysia is and not to forget the images of Orang Utan that signifies what Malaysia is all about. Yes, you can relate to the image of Orang Utan being overly abused to attract people to come to Malaysia when Orang Utan can only be found in Borneo and not all over Malaysia. That is that.

Let’s stay focused and not deviating from the issue I wish to discuss – about 2 days ago, the VMY song was unveiled to the “rakyat” (mass). I think one of the Suwitos belted the song out for the pleasant hearing of the audience and press members. It is almost a MUST that all events or campaigns in Malaysia have to be anchored by a song. As if, the song will take care of everything.

There’s lack of media coverage on what actually is happening and the roles played by various parties in welcoming 2007, as far as local tourism industry is concerned. Have you heard of overall campaign by the hotel association that reduces the rates or various attractive packages in inducing the rate of take-up among the foreigners to come over to Malaysia? Have you heard that the health government combating various epidemics such as dengue in order to increase the confidence among the potential visitors to come over to Malaysia? Instead, there is major cover-up of the status of dengue in Klang Valley as not to hinder the arrivals of tourists. Well, perhaps it is time to compose a song along the line of dengue-rate-is-low-hence-visit-Malaysia kind of song!

Speaking of songs, remember the “Kempen Membaca” or Reading Campaign. Again, there is song penned. What good does it do when the infrastructures are so bad and further discourages the people to read. How many excellent libraries do we have? And on top of that, has the government ever visited the National Library located along Jalan Tun Razak and try to compare that with for example a mediocre Japan’s university. It is in a bad state. The number of quality books is so upsetting. Why can’t we put millions in books and introduce further tax reductions on imported books. Again, what we see on TV every time this campaign hits the annual timeline, a song is composed and played again and again on TV and radio. Let’s not speak of the outdated melody and trying hard to sound upbeat and catchy, the lyrics do no good at all to be absorbed by the ‘rakyat’.

Finally, the same goes to increasing the adoption of computers and cutting-edge communications activities and services. Do you remember the Miss Dato’ K (read: Siti Nurhaliza) who sang the Sayang IT when the IT-adoption campaign was formulated. That was a big joke. She was like a robot that sang the song when I doubt that she knew what IT, ICT, Internet, CPU and RAM are all about.

Let’s go back to the basic. Where is the ICT infrastructure? What ever happened to the computer lab projects that are meant for schools? What happen to them? It was one-off affair for certain quarters to reap “quick” benefits and there was a period of time when several headlines questioned the quality of the labs, delays, missing the objective etc. That is one. In order to enhance the ability of Malaysians to embrace Internet and open up to borderless knowledge acquisition, our broadband price is still one of the highest in the world. We therefore, can conclude why the low adoption rates of ICT among Malaysians.

Having said all these, shall we therefore resort to composition of songs in achieving our target every time we introduce a policy or campaign in this country we dearly love?

Let's talk business

It has been a long time since the last update of this blog. I do not even know, whether I should feel bad, guilty or indifferent (James, sorry I won’t be able to post your entry over here. It is rather, how shall I say this, inappropriate!).

Well, I have reasons for not being able to update this blog anyway. It has been hectic as of late. We just finished the fasting month and that was followed by Eid. That alone, was good enough a reason to be busy and preoccupied. During fasting month, there were a number of outings with friends from office, alumni of the scholarship and also friends from University. Well, that is that. As for Eid, I still need to attend an open-house of a friend who had just opened an art-school for kids in Ampang. What can be a better way of doing it; it is going to be at the art centre where people can mingle and that is the best to introduce the business to all.


Speaking of business, I did try to venture into a business with a friend. It was selling the artificial-but-look-so-real orchids. Well, it did not take off well (read: it did not take off at all). They are fabulous looking products and even the fellow competitors admitted that they do not deserve to be sold at "flea market", they should be in malls somewhere. That was the avenue we chose to be the first platform for them to be seen in the market. It did not do well, I must admit.

Despite my hesitance to sell them in the middle of the month, when people hardly have money to spend, the orchids went ahead to meet their potential buyers in that specific period of the month. The result? – None got sold. Sometimes we need to observe and be backed by business acumen to ensure success of business. That is done deal and I do not see pursuing any discussion over the results of the attempt. In some situations, it is best left like that. Uh by the way, in business too, when we have agreed on something, we need to stick to it or bring it up to be amended at any possible avenue. Things like "price" for example. Once we agree on a price scheme, as stakeholders we stick to it (of coruse we need to back our number-crunching with facts of course). But crux of the matter - consensus!

Whatever happens to the orchids? They are still there with my friend. We were supposed to split them into two. They are nice things. I would want to own some of them and use them as gifts for friends or family. I do not really see that’s coming. I’d better not talk about the reasons over here. I guess they are best left with my friend; after all he had transported them to his new place. Deep down, I would want to give them away as presents to friends and family (at this point, I am saying to myself "Wake up, it is a done deal"). Well it was really good lesson. I managed to learn so many things, not entirely about business since I had poured what there is in me to ensure the success of the business, but there are many aspects I did not know about certain thing, this venture had opened up those. Well I am grateful about that.

Still something on business – currently, I am helping out a friend that I got to know via a friend from Cambridge days. He is a great painter. He has painted a few great paintings and occasionally he receives requests to do portraits. He is not happy the way he approaches things as he wants to do more with his skills and paintings. I will come in to develop business plan and also portfolio development for him to target at niche markets and individuals (premium individuals that is...). He is all excited and he has agreed to offer me certain percentage (cut) out of all his sales. I am not counting the chickens just yet, just by looking at the eggs. The most important for now, is to get him into the market with his "great" products and we take it from there.

There is one hope, and I need to be aware that I will not be taken advantage of this time around!