The Loss

I was in shock today. When I got to the office there was this shocking news about the passing of Marian's mom. I am quite close to Marian in the office, and I occasionally ask her about her mom's condition. I know that her mom went through hip replacement last year and Marian did tell me one of her reasons to relocate to Ireland is due to the fact that she wants to be closer to her family and especially her mom and dad.

Marian was on holiday in Denver, USA when she got the news about her mom's passing. I can imagine how traumatizing it could have been. Having to cut the holiday short, having to call the airlines, having to deal with the loss alone, having to endure the painful flight back realising that your mom is no longer around for you to spend the last minutes with. Poor Marian.

+ That is how far we had to drive today, from Dublin to Cloonfad, in Co Roscommon.

Today, at 4.30pm I decided to join Aongus (my superior) and Michelle to go to the Removal (from the funeral home, before they place the body in the church). Michelle in the canteen asked me "Zul, you are close to Marian, don't you think you want to go to the Removal?". I was thinking of going really. Thanks to Google Map, they managed to get us all lost by locating a different Cloonfad on the map. So, Aongus bought a map and I read the map to lead us to the place - Cloonfad, in Co Roscommon. It's easily 2.5 hrs drive (but we got lost, and add 30-40 mins drive on top). We decided to go straight to the church, for we knew the procession had begun from the funeral home. As we approached St Patrick's Church of Garranlahan, the service had begun. I joined Aongus and Michelle to pay my respect. The followed the service while I was just there respecting them, and slowly glancing at the solemn faces.

Right after that, I joined the many to proceed to the front of the church to shake hands - and to convey my condolence to the family. I wanted to see Marian. The moment Marian saw Aongus and us, she broke down and slowly appreciated our presence. She cried. She was touched I guess. I was quite sad. I would never guess, Marian, that strong girl that I know from office, the girl who made my first few weeks in the company so bearable and so welcoming - was so fragile and vulnerable. I would be too. But to be able to be there meant so much to me, and to her hopefully.

She has grown to become one of the closer colleagues and friends in the office. The trip means so much to us all as well - esp me, Aongus and Michelle. We got to bond in the midst of all this, and to see the other side of Aongus outside office - who's a fun lad to be with. More importantly, it's struck me once again - the subject of death hits me again!

It is 12:15 am now, I am off to bed with my prayers that Marian and her family will be blessed with the much needed strength to face this huge loss of theirs.